Surrounding yourself with like minded, inspiring and motivating people can often be a challenge when looking at achieving your desires and goals. I struggled for a long time to get this right but I use the formula below to help me ensure that I'm on track and not getting too sidetracked in my quest for achievement.
Have you ever seen a pigeon flying with an eagle? Hmmm didn't think so...I'll come back to this later!
Over the past couple of years, the circle of people I relate to and spend time with has changed dramatically. As my goals changed and I discovered what my true values were, the people I surrounded myself with also changed. Not in a bad way of course and I don't want anyone thinking that I went through my phone and deleted everyone I didn't want to be around. Without too much of a conscious effort and mainly through my training, racing, not drinking alcohol, eating better and mindset, the group I surrounded myself with changed.
I sat down with a good friend and mentor about three years ago who told me I would be the average of the seven people I spend the most amount of time with. The average of their fitness, health, financial position, mindset, wealth and all things in between. When he challenged me to think about this and write down those seven people, I was amazed. When I looked at the list I realised the truth behind his view. I didn't set out with a pen to consciously strike people off the list and add new names, however, I was well aware of what goals I had set for myself over the proceeding few years and realised that my "circle of influence" needed some adjustment. So who are these people?
Well honestly, some people that have appeared on my list now I don't even know very well, however if I find that if I consistently engage with what they do and their achievements, they will have the positive effect on me that I'm after. My list doesn't include all family members, all friends or all successful business people. It includes a wide variety of people that I believe will help assist me to get to my goals. I need to point out that while many people I spend time with, love and have a lot of time for aren't on my list, they still form an integral part of my life. This isn't an arrogant swipe at anyone who may have different goals, beliefs or have a totally different outlook on life than I do.
Those you spend time with will either have a positive or negative influence on you determined by what your values, beliefs, goals and desires are. I'll use myself as an example; for me, spending time at the pub socializing over a couple of beers and a chicken parmi will certainly not have a positive effect on my desire to complete Ultraman Australia 2016. In saying this however, for someone who has a goal to own and run a pub this may be an ideal situation to be in.
Everyone is different and this is the best part about it. If you have a goal and that goal fits perfectly with your values then you should find yourself naturally heading towards forming a group around you that will positively help you grow into the person you need to be to achieve it.
So back to the pigeons and the eagle..never in life will you see an eagle hanging around a group of pigeons. For the eagle to grow and succeed he/she surrounds him/herself with like minded individuals. An eagle with ambition to hunt, fly, eat, grow and succeed won't be hanging out with pigeons in the afternoon trying to grab some scraps from the fish and chip shop. The opposite is also true for the pigeon. I'm yet to see him or her hanging around a group of eagles.
So here's my point...
Surround yourself with the people that will help you achieve your goals. Your goal is not the important part of this but your desire to achieve it is. If your desire to achieve your goal is great enough, then you should be actively seeking out people in the world that can help you do this. In my opinion, if the desire to achieve your goal isn't great enough to make you change your circle of influence then the goal is not the right goal for you. The people surrounding you will change as you grow but again this is all part of the process. You don't need to rule a line through loved ones in your life but when you are looking to grow and develop you may need to be spending time with others too.
So here's my challenge for you -
Step 1. Write down the seven people you spend the most time with.
Step 2. Write out your goal below the names.
Step 3. Ask yourself this question with each name on the list. Will this person be the most positive influence on me to achieve my goal?
Step 4. If they are then great! If they're not, then think of others around you that might be able to help you to achieve your goal.
Step 5. Repeat process every couple of months.
Feel free to send me through any feedback on how you go. I'd love to hear from you!
Until next week...
- Keep moving
- Keep going forward
- Keep kicking goals